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Stop Sending Emails, and Other Tips for Building Positive Relationships in Schools

By Paul Barnwell 鈥 January 13, 2015 5 min read
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Sometimes it feels like there鈥檚 too much on our plates as teachers to take a few moments to chat with a colleague in the copy room. Shirking email and other administrative duties in order to share lunch with co-workers? I wish! Helping a colleague with class coverage when there is so much to do? If only!

Yet if we don鈥檛 deliberately forge personal connections and strengthen relationships within our school buildings, then we are handicapping our efforts to reach, mentor, and educate all students. The level of collaboration demanded by modern teaching is unprecedented鈥攏ot to mention pretty daunting when it comes to accountability in a data-driven environment.

The bottom line is this: Sustainable, effective collaboration is unlikely to occur without strong personal connections between teachers, staff members, and administrators. Here are some simple ways to improve your approach to building relationships in your school:

1. Give Without Strings Attached

Earlier this year, a colleague of mine was fighting a nasty cold. Over the course of a couple weeks, she asked me twice to cover her fifth period class. Not a problem. I鈥檓 not holding this favor as currency, waiting for an opportunity for her to 鈥減ay鈥 me back.

In our personal and professional lives, dealing with people who always expect something in return isn鈥檛 a way to build sustainable or authentic relationships. That鈥檚 not to say that I won鈥檛 ever ask for favors in return; it鈥檚 just not at the forefront of my approach when helping others out.

2. Talk, Don鈥檛 Email

Writing an email instead of making a phone call or seeking a quick interaction in the hallway can seem like an easier form of workplace communication. But remember: The more email you send, the more messages you must check and reply. The more time you spend in front of a screen, the less time you have to say hello, ask questions, and build relationships.

As a general rule of thumb, I try to establish relationships in person, or at least over the phone, before I start sending emails or texts. If I have a question for a coworker, I usually take the time to call or make a visit in person. This significantly increases the chances for positive interactions with those colleagues in the future.

3. Follow Your Colleagues on Social Media

While heavy social media use isn鈥檛 my personal preference, following co-workers on social media can spark both light-hearted and work-related conversations. The phenomenon of the comes to mind; my colleagues and I swapped links and commentary relating to the story.

In addition, there鈥檚 no reason why your professional learning networks can鈥檛 have a heavily local flavor. If you already follow nationally recognized educators, publications, and organizations, why not also create space for those folks you come into contact with the most? I鈥檝e created a Fern Creek High School Twitter list so it鈥檚 simple to get a 鈥減ulse鈥 of what thoughts, ideas, images, and information my co-workers are sharing.

4. Make Interdisciplinary Connections

I鈥檒l be the first to admit that, as an English teacher, I have a hard time imagining sustained collaboration with an Algebra II teacher. But this doesn鈥檛 mean I鈥檓 not striving to interact with folks from other departments and subject areas in order to expand student-learning possibilities while building more diverse collegial relationships.

Three years ago, I sought out our functional mental disability teachers to include our school鈥檚 special-needs students in my digital media elective course. Not only has this partnership been great for all students, but I鈥檝e created a link to a department鈥攁nd group of teachers鈥攐ften isolated in many school buildings. My interactions with the FMD teachers and students have been some of my favorite, most meaningful interactions at Fern Creek.

5. Laugh

I know the feeling of having a furrowed brow and tension building in my neck and shoulders after a particularly trying day. Strolling down the hallways, it鈥檚 easy to spot colleagues who are in the same boat. Yes, our work is important and incredibly difficult. But I do appreciate co-workers who manage to keep a smile or crack a joke in order to lighten the mood. Shared joy and laughter can forge bonds and also make our toughest days more manageable.

6. Show Humility

Hopefully you work in an environment where the majority of teachers don鈥檛 think they鈥檝e figured everything out. I鈥檓 fortunate to be in a place where many educators seek out advice from one another. I鈥檓 in the midst of my 11th year teaching, and one current class is the most difficult I鈥檝e ever had in terms of student engagement, promoting positive behavior, and attendance issues.

Despite the fact that I鈥檓 generally an effective educator, I still need help. I鈥檝e contacted colleagues regarding best ways to reach certain students. I鈥檝e asked for advice from administrators. For those of us educators who are realistic about the Herculean challenges we face, it鈥檚 off-putting to try to form positive relationships with co-workers who think they know it all.

7. Expand Your Circles

I know that sometimes I feel cordoned off in my own teaching world with my colleagues in the English III Professional Learning Community. In lieu of faculty meetings, our school has dedicated PLC time, which is usually a good thing. But it鈥檚 easy for all of us in this small group of colleagues to keep that professional circle limited.

Instead, are there other folks in your building who you can learn and interact with? For me, this means frequent contact with our college counselors and mentors, who work with many of my students on transcripts, applications to schools, financial aid, and more. Or how about secretarial staff? Librarians? Classroom aides?

There鈥檚 no doubt each of us approaches relationship-building differently. Some of us require closer bonds and adult interaction; others are more content to be selective about whom they interact with. But if an attitude of closed doors and 鈥渏ust let me teach鈥 prevails in a school鈥檚 culture, it hurts our ability to connect with other adults in our buildings. We must take advantage of opportunities to connect鈥攊nstead of pushing them aside in the face of so much to do.

Teaching is more manageable and enjoyable when we are diligent in fostering positive relationships with a diverse group of colleagues. This sets a foundation for the real work of professional collaboration, teaching, and learning. We can鈥檛 rely on shaky, weak professional relationships given all we strive to accomplish together.

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