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Helping Students Thrive Now

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Student Well-Being Opinion

4 Steps Students Can Take to Help Make Tough Decisions

How to use the nonconscious mind to get unstuck
By Kennon Sheldon 鈥 March 27, 2024 2 min read
How do I help students when they feel stuck?
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How do I help students when they feel stuck?

Try this four-step process that might help them move forward. Here鈥檚 something I wrote about the topic for as a :

When I started college, I was convinced I would become a theoretical physicist. I had aced physics in high school and was fascinated by the weirdness of relativity and quantum theory.

But by my second year, I was struggling with the required advanced math classes. I started to wonder if physics was right for me after all. Still, I felt like I鈥檇 committed to the major鈥攁nd taken so many courses in it鈥攖hat I didn鈥檛 want to wimp out.

What should people do when they feel stuck? Do they just need to wait until new options come along or can they do something about it?

My finds that the nonconscious mind will provide powerful new ideas and creative directions if people have the courage to activate it. Here鈥檚 how to do that:

1. Notice your dissatisfaction. Emotions provide information, including the possibility that you have a problem. Before you can solve a problem, you first have to recognize it.

2. Ask yourself questions. Your conscious mind is partially cut off from the brain鈥檚 deeper regions, but it can control the larger system. Asking yourself explicit questions like 鈥淲hat do I really want?鈥 activates your nonconscious mind to start churning beneath the surface.

3. Recognize the possibilities. When new ideas emerge that 鈥渇eel right鈥 and check off lots of boxes, see them for what they are鈥攑ossible ways forward.

4. Pick an option and set a goal. Verbalize鈥攁nd better yet, write down鈥攁 desired new goal. Writing something down makes it feel real and puts your mind on a new track, toward action.

These four steps can help anyone move forward, whether it鈥檚 a kid who鈥檚 not sure they want to keep playing soccer or an adult thinking about switching careers.

For me, I asked myself why I was drawn toward theoretical physics. I realized I was interested in 鈥渧ery big questions鈥 but also recognized that I could find them in other fields of inquiry. This led me to take classes in philosophy, psychology, and theology. One day, I had a flash of insight: Psychology was best for me because it was the most scientific! I wrote in my journal: 鈥淧sychology looks like it. I鈥檓 going to change my major!鈥 Then, I set out on this life path, which has proved to be so fulfilling for me.

顿辞苍鈥檛 stay on a path just because you鈥檝e already invested time and effort.

Do start asking yourself questions, then be open to what emerges. And be patient. It may take time before you recognize the signposts for a new direction. If the young people in your life seem stuck, help them pay attention to how they feel. Nudge them to ask themselves questions鈥What鈥檚 going on? What do I really want?鈥攁nd resist answering for them. Only by doing their own digging will they discover the treasure of their true selves.

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