Leading a middle school during a global health emergency was a monumental challenge for many school leaders. For Stacy Schreiner, who was in her first year as a principal, it was akin to baptism by fire. But Schreiner, who retires as principal of Landon Middle School in Topeka, Kan., this month, takes pride in how she led the school and students during that tumultuous period. Schreiner started in the Topeka school district in 1993, fresh out of college, teaching language arts and social studies. Along the way, she worked as an instructional coach and assistant principal and led the district鈥檚 first middle school dual-language program. Her superpower was building connections with students, she said.
In her own words, Schreiner shares what will stay with her as she moves into retirement. The interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length.
My memories all surround my relationships with my students.
The district had some students write letters, and they put them in a book for me. The kids wrote things like, 鈥楾hanks for always listening,鈥� 鈥楾hanks for not giving up on me,鈥� and 鈥楾hanks for always letting me know there was a fresh start the next day.鈥�
The best part, the thing I will miss the most and the thing that I will always carry in my heart, is my ability to build relationships with kids that really are lifelong.
Topeka is not a very big town. Everywhere I go, I see former students, and I get hugs. My friends say, 鈥業t just always amazes me, because middle school kids have to be cool. I go places with you and they want to come and sit with you. They want to hang out with the principal.鈥�
I feel like the kids never once doubted that I loved them. Sometimes that was tough love, and I had to be tough, and I had to tell it like it was. I鈥檓 a pretty straight shooter. That鈥檚 the other thing鈥擨f you asked kids to describe me, they鈥檇 say she pretty much tells it like it is.
I found that over the years that that helped them trust me, being a straight shooter and being able to say the truth: 鈥業 know it鈥檚 hard to hear, but this is the truth, and I鈥檓 telling you because I love you.鈥� They trusted me, and they knew I was there for them.
In fact, it鈥檚 funny. I would get emails from kids, 鈥楳rs. Schreiner, I don鈥檛 have a pencil. Can you bring me a pencil to my class?鈥� I would come home laughing and ask my sister, 鈥榃ould you have ever dreamed to email your principal because you forgot your school supplies?鈥� And she鈥檇 say, 鈥楴ever.鈥� But that鈥檚 the relationship I have with the kids.
The thing I will miss the most and the thing that I will always carry in my heart is my ability to build relationships with kids that really are lifelong.
I have a student right now; he is a very sweet little 6th-grade boy. He鈥檚 a special education student, and he鈥檚 emailed me every day to ask me if I would come visit him at his house.
He would come up to me at school every day and he鈥檇 say, 鈥楾here鈥檚 my favorite principal.鈥� I would say, 鈥楾here鈥檚 my favorite student.鈥� He would give me the biggest hugs. Just the sweetest little boy.
I have one student that comes to my mind because she and I had a lot of really tough talks because she was wise beyond her years.
I could always tell by the way she presented herself and the way she talked that she didn鈥檛 really have much chance to be a kid鈥攖aking care of her siblings while her mom worked, things like that.
She would sometimes behave in ways that were sometimes more adult than she was. I would have to have a conversation with her that you鈥檙e a little girl, and I know it鈥檚 hard that so much is out of your control. I had conversations with her about how tough it is to be a kid, and everyone makes all your decisions for you, and they tell you how, and why, and when, and where. Because she had a hard time accepting authority.
I would use examples like, 鈥淒o you think I enjoy everything my boss tells me to do? I don鈥檛. But I do it. I do it with a smile on my face, because that鈥檚 how you behave, that鈥檚 appropriate. That鈥檚 what you do as you grow up. You start to learn that you don鈥檛 have to like everything.鈥�
I鈥檝e had to have some tough conversations with kids, especially lately, about tolerance, as the world changes and groups of kids change, and we are now facing all the world issues at the middle school level.
My big message has always been to be kind. I talk to the kids a lot about the world is hard. It鈥檚 a hard place, and people should get to come here and be safe, and come to school and feel loved and nurtured.
I told the kids a lot that it was my job, and our job as a school, to not only teach them school things, but teach them life things, and prepare them for the world and to be productive, good people.
I probably took that part the most seriously, because in a world of technology, there are lots of ways to get information that you need. Obviously, their academic education was very important to me, but I think what I felt was most important was the whole child鈥攕howing them how to be good people and supporting their parents in those efforts to raise good kids.
That鈥檚 the big thing鈥攖hat鈥檚 what I will take with me: The relationships, the kids that have worked their way into my heart and will be there forever. I am still in touch with kids I had in my class 30 years ago.
