We seem stuck in this zero-sum game in which concern about girls means that we necessarily âneglectâ boys.
Years after conservative pundits began to warn of a âwar against boys,â weâve started to see the mainstream media pick up the argument. A USA Today headline warns, âPay Closer Attention: Boys Are Struggling Academically.â Business Week calls the problem âThe New Gender Gapâ and claims that boys are now âthe second sex.â In a Newsweek cover story, itâs âThe Boy Crisis.â
The issue has even attracted the attention of the White House, where Laura Bush is leading a campaign to help boys improve in school. She told National Public Radio, âI feel like, in the United States, that weâve sort of shifted our gaze away from boys for the last several decades, and that weâve neglected boys.â If thatâs not enough, a new book by the Harvard University scholar Harvey C. Mansfield argues that weâve forgotten the virtues of âmanlinessâ (his bookâs title), and that this is a direct consequence of the womenâs movement, with its insistence on, as he puts it, âa practice of equality between the sexes that has never been known before in all human history.â
There are legitimate concerns about boysâ achievement. But there are also legitimate concerns about the way the current discussion is being framed. Headlines repeatedly pit girls against boys, and accompanying photos often show boys with hurt expressions, looking dejected, slumped over their desks. The girls who surround them in these pictures are caught mid-laugh, whispering to a friend, sitting atop the monkey bars, or staring at the camera with defiant self-confidence. The message is not only that girls are doing great and boys are suffering. Itâs also that the girls are cocky about it, mean, and satisfied with the situation.
There are, as the saying goes, so many things wrong with this picture. Itâs not girlsâ fault that boys are struggling in school. Nor is it teachersâ fault. Itâs the fault of a society that tells boys doing well in school is for losers and geeksâand that being tough, even aggressive, is cool. But rather than think about the shortcomings of American masculinity, weâve found someone else to blame: girls and those trying to talk about girlsâ issues.
Our concern as educators, psychologists, and parents ought to be about providing the best for all children, both girls and boys. But we seem stuck in this zero-sum game in which concern about girls means that we necessarily âneglectâ boys. In a world of scarce funding for education, in a culture steeped in gender stereotypes, giving to one group translates into taking away from another. Weâve seen it with the Title IX backlashâgive the girls a hockey team, lose the boysâ wrestling program. Itâs the girlsâ fault for wanting half.
Experts on boys say that girls are outperforming boys because schools are privileging âgirl subjects,â such as reading and writing, and girlsâ ways of doing things, like cooperative learning and sitting at desks. They say the real problem has nothing to do with boys and everything to do with the fact that 90 percent of elementary school teachers and 76 percent of secondary teachers are women. The language spoken in schools disenfranchises boys, the argument goes. Boys donât want to read about girl things like feelings and relationships. Affirm boyness, and the pattern will reverse itself.
But hasnât the media been affirming boyness for decades? A recent report from Dads and Daughters and the See Jane program says that 75 percent of characters in the top-grossing G-rated films from 1990 through 2004 were male. Male characters also dominate Newbery Medal-winning childrenâs books, popular video games, and toys that have anything to do with action, competition, and power. (Girl power, alas, has become the power to shop and accessorize.) Yet lots of girls read these books, play Gameboys, and âprepare to fightâ their PokĂ©mon. And still they achieve in school and attend college in higher numbers than boys.
There may be a boy crisis, but boys are by no means the second sex.
What about women teachers as the source of the problem? Gender disparity in teaching has existed since the days of the single-room schoolhouse, while the âboy problemâ is relatively new. Indeed, while the ambivalence about girlsâ success and visibility is abundantly clear in the newspaper stories, the deeper societal shame, if we read the headlines and photos correctly, is that boys are not doing as well as girls. What rarely gets addressed is howâand whyâbeing âgirlyâ is the worst thing a boy can be, such that if you code school success as female, boys will avoid it like the plague. This is a function of the sexism that pervades our culture, not teachersâ bias against boys.
There may be a boy crisis, but boys are by no means the second sex. Rather than blame women teachers and, more subtly, those too-confident girls answering questions and taking up space, we might want to look at the real culprits: poverty, racism, and heavy doses of toxic masculinity with its persistent message to boys that studying is for wimps, nerds, andâyou guessed itâgirls.