What can an individual do to help students experiencing adversity?
Here鈥檚 one student鈥檚 story that might give you some ideas, in a piece I wrote for as a :
A few years ago, I met a young man named Cody Coleman.
Cody鈥檚 story begins in the Monmouth County Correctional Institution, where his mother was serving time for threatening to kill the child of a senator. Cody鈥檚 childhood was chaotic and uncertain. When he told me the bare facts, my heart broke for the little boy who, against all odds, grew up to thrive in every possible sense of the word.
Today, after earning his Ph.D. in computer science at Stanford, Cody is the co-founder and CEO of an artificial intelligence startup, . He is exceptionally kind. He smiles more easily than any other person I know. And he signs off every email with 鈥渕ake it a good day.鈥�
The latest research on adversity shows that the story of Cody Coleman is the exception, not the rule. What doesn鈥檛 kill you may make you stronger, but for the majority of young people, the kind of poverty and neglect that defined Cody鈥檚 childhood are not crucibles of character development but, instead, the beginning of .
By some estimates, individuals who suffer serious adversity end up thriving in the multidimensional way that Cody is thriving.
When I think of Cody, I think of the last two lines of the poem 鈥溾��: 鈥淚 am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.鈥�
But I also think of the people in Cody鈥檚 life who helped him change his trajectory. Cody鈥檚 oldest brother Shawn, who planted the improbable idea of going to college. His trigonometry teacher Chantel, who offered him the attention, love, and day-to-day care she gave her own children, and whom today Cody calls 鈥淢om.鈥� And Norm, the teacher who vowed and made good on the promise: 鈥淚鈥檒l make sure you never go hungry.鈥�
Collectively, the people who cared for Cody helped him 鈥溾�� from Winslow Township High School to MIT, from MIT to Google, from Google to Stanford.
What lessons can we take from the rarity of Cody鈥檚 journey?
顿辞苍鈥檛 assume that adversity in the absence of support makes anyone stronger.
Do look for ways you can be the Shawn, Chantel, or Norm in the life of a young person who needs you. The roots of resilience are relationships.
