What do teachers get wrong about grit?
I answered this question recently, along with others, for in a :
How do you define grit, and what makes it special?
I define grit as the combination of passion and perseverance for long-term goals. To me, what makes grit special is the emphasis on goals that take a long time to achieve. If you鈥檙e in 1st grade, 鈥渁 long time鈥� can mean doing something for a couple of weeks. By the time you鈥檙e in high school, 鈥渁 long time鈥� might be doing things for more than one year. For adults, that time frame gets extended further still. For instance, at some point in your career, you might dedicate yourself to something for decades. I can speak for myself: I intend to be a psychological scientist for the rest of my life.
What do teachers often get wrong about grit?
Grit isn鈥檛 just perseverance. When I began to study high achievers, I noticed it鈥檚 not just that they鈥檙e hardworking, it鈥檚 not just that they鈥檙e resilient鈥攊t鈥檚 also that they truly love what they do and stay in love with what they do over extended time periods.
How has your concept of grit changed over the years?
One thing has become more apparent to me over time: Gritty people are more dependent on other people, not less. They rely more on their coaches, mentors, and teachers. They are more likely to ask for help. They are more likely to ask for feedback. Grit sounds like being a strong individual who figures things out all by themselves. But gritty people try to find other people to make everything they鈥檙e striving to accomplish easier. It鈥檚 very much about developing relationships, being vulnerable, saying what you can鈥檛 do, and then, with the support of other people, figuring out how to do it.
How can we help kids get that support?
Young people need an adult in their lives who鈥檚 both supportive and demanding. This combination, which is the magic recipe for parenting, is also essential for influential relationships children have with other adults. For instance, I鈥檝e seen from my own two girls, Amanda and Lucy, how invaluable it was to have teachers and coaches who changed their lives forever.
Like Miss Tanya, who taught them ballet, and Kerri, Lucy鈥檚 viola teacher, and Ms. Parker, who helped Amanda start a tutoring program. These were adults in their lives who held them to high standards and pushed them to try hard鈥攂ut were also incredibly encouraging, understanding, and loving. I think of these caring adults as guardian angels who watch over children, nag them sometimes, and challenge them to do things they can鈥檛 yet do.
It seems like great luck to have guardian angels in your life, but aren鈥檛 there many aspects of your situation you can鈥檛 change?
I would agree entirely that there are many, many things about your situation that you cannot change. But that should not blind us to the things that you can. For instance, the other day, Lucy told me she was having problems procrastinating. I asked her what drew her attention away from work that needed to get done. Surfing the web, she said, and also, of course, TikTok and Instagram. I said, why rely on willpower when you can just change your situation? The next day, she texted me: 鈥淢om, guess what? I installed one of those website blockers on my phone!鈥� I texted back: 鈥淵ay yes see??? #easier!鈥� And she replied: 鈥�#easier!鈥�
