Abuse in students鈥� earliest romantic relationships can be devastating鈥攚ith long-term consequences鈥攂ut teens often don鈥檛 even recognize the when it occurs.
Teen dating violence can lead to higher rates of depression, drug and alcohol abuse in adulthood, and a higher likelihood of experiencing violence in adult relationships.
That can seem daunting, but there are lessons schools can implement that can make a big difference, said Megan Shackleton, chief program officer for the One Love Foundation, a nonprofit that teaches youth about healthy relationships and relationship abuse.
Those lessons should focus on helping students recognize the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and educating them about resources that are available if they鈥檙e in a troublesome relationship.
As of June 2022, 28 states and the District of Columbia required some level of dating violence prevention education, and nine strongly encouraged it,
Whether required or not, Shackleton shared some best practices for districts to consider when broaching the topic of teen dating violence with their students.
1. Start early and adapt as students get older
found that nearly half of young people did not recognize signs of abuse, and only about a third of teens who are in an abusive relationship ever tell anyone about the abuse. Some of that resistance can be attributed to stigma around dating violence, or to teens and adolescents simply not knowing how to talk about it or whom to tell, Shackleton said.
Even if they don鈥檛 know what to do about it, children and teens are more likely to recognize physical abuse in their relationships than emotional, verbal, or online abuse.
So it鈥檚 important that students learn early what unhealthy relationships might look like. That can start in elementary school by outlining what a good, healthy friendship looks like. Then, as students get older, those lessons can evolve to address romantic relationships, Shackleton said.
鈥淭he earlier we can give young people the tools to understand and to have the skills to practice this in lower-stakes relationships, the more likely it will be that they鈥檙e going to be comfortable and able to do those things when they鈥檙e entering more intense, higher-stakes relationships,鈥� Shackleton said.
And consistency is key.
While a single lesson in a students鈥� academic career can be helpful, reinforcing the signs of abuse at different ages, sharing resources, and creating space for children to talk about their experiences can be transformative, Shackleton said.
鈥淭he goal is really to make that language pervasive to give young people a common language to understand what they鈥檙e experiencing and seeing all around them, and to be able to speak about and make sense of it,鈥� she said.
2. Use examples kids can relate to
The One Love Foundation鈥檚 lessons focus on the 鈥攊ncluding independence, healthy conflict, kindness, and respect鈥攁nd the 鈥攕uch as isolation, possessiveness, and betrayal.
Finding real-world examples of those traits that young people can understand can help the concepts stick, Shackleton said.
And there are endless examples in popular TV shows and movies, she added.
For example, in the first few minutes of 鈥淭he Notebook,鈥� considered by many to be a classic romance movie, one character hangs from a Ferris wheel threatening to let go if a woman doesn鈥檛 go on a date with him.
Often, that kind of gesture is portrayed as romantic, but it鈥檚 manipulative and toxic, Shackleton said.
鈥淪o much of what kids are experiencing in the media they consume is branded as things they should be striving towards, but they鈥檙e actually very unhealthy behaviors and signs of unhealthy passion, which is not what we should be encouraging them to seek in their relationships,鈥� she said. 鈥淲e鈥檝e glorified it as what it means to be passionate in a relationship.鈥�
3. Make sure resources are readily available year-round
It鈥檚 imperative that schools do their part to combat the stigma that might exist around students asking for help when they鈥檙e experiencing relationship abuse, Shackleton said.
Schools should post information about local and national hotlines and other resources in high-visibility areas throughout the school, such as bathrooms and common areas, she said.
Teenagers need to know who they can turn to for help. Often, young people first confide in their friends and peers, who are not equipped to handle such a thorny situation. So, making it clear that there are therapists and other adults in the school who are trained and ready to help can go a long way, Shackleton said.
When possible, teachers should also be trained to recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships so they can be on the lookout for them and intervene if necessary, she said.
鈥淔or example, one of the earliest signs of abuse is a relationship getting really serious really fast, so you might notice a partner waiting outside the classroom for their partner every day, or that they鈥檙e not spending as much time with their friends as usual,鈥� Shackleton said. 鈥淲e do not expect the educator to be the expert on relationship abuse. We want them to start the conversation, and then help direct students to the resources that can help them navigate this relationship safely.鈥�
